Emotional Blockage

Do you know how you feel when the day comes that whatever you do is just not right. The ?not right? here that I am talking about is not something wrong? but may be just emotional blockage. Yah? I use emotional blockage because no matter what I do today, just not satisfy enough.

I finished all my SEP account already, usually took me at least end of the following month to finish. I should feel satisfy because I know for another 5 days, I will have nothing much to do, but instead of feeling relax and not stress, I felt? I felt? I dunno?! Really? well, as I said early, don?t know what wrong.

Anyway, so I decided to continue my business proposal which at least there are 2 most influential person are waiting to read, but my brain just doesn?t work, can?t thinking of words and phrases to describe.

May be just the weather (nothing to blame), may be just the air-condition wasn?t cold enough, or may be I am just moody?!

Think back, for the past 3 days, I can?t really sleep well, tossing and turning. Still remember that on Sunday, I actually wake 3 hours before my set alarm time. I don?t know what wrong with me. Sitting on couch, had my toasted bread for breakfast and fresh juice and thinking what I have been really thinking.

I don?t know my future going to be like. Yup! There are business proposal coming up, there things like ministry that line up, there are dreams, vision and goals try to achieve, but somehow I still have doubt whether I am staying in Australia for long. I don?t know whether this is the season of change, or may be I was affected by other factors that force me to make include in conclusion? I don?t know.

Next month will be 2 years since I started working at my current job. It wasn?t pay that well, but I am still surviving. If looking for big saving, big houses? I can?t stay long in this current job, I think I have to move on. But if I move on? first, I have to get my residency status fix. And that going to be pain in the ass. It involve so many documents and times just to get my status done.

But at the same time, deep inside my heart, I am still thinking of choosing to be ?home? (Australia) or home in Malaysia. God lead me?

Exam Period

Exam period is just around the corner. Not that I am going to take exam, or I could just don’t care, but I can’t. See, the point is almost of my friends are University student and this is the period of time when felt most “left out” because everyone is doing what they do – studying and revision, except me.

Well, this time, I got an very interest ideal of doing something else while these friends of mine fighting their final battle of the year – watch video.

I think this is a very good ideal, I know it is selfish method of anti-social activity. Watching video the most anti social activity, interact less but got the maximum entertainment for ourselves. Most of all, when I put my 100% focus on the movie, I will never even know who actually there watching together with me. So, I would say it is the most ultimate selfish activity that you can do together with your mate with I say “let hang out together”. Well, of course not everything is bad, have you heard this statement before, this is a friend pick a card and send to his best friend, in the card it said this – I enjoy most of the time even when you saying nothing at all. Lots of people think that it is sweet, well, I think it is sweet too. Don’t you think it apply to this “watching video” session?

Anyway, yes, I prepare myself for this period of time when everyone study and I am going to watch lots and lots of video. The Chinese movie series, many kung-fu movie acted my Jacky Chan and many actors of my favourites shows.

What to do? Self entertaining will be the best at this time… don’t you think so? Even the working friends of mine keep complaining that too busy for friends… I think I just have to get few bags of popcorn and soft drink later tonight for 4 hours session of movie. Hai….!

Connecting to Nature

I was so busy and caught up with busy city life. Once in a while I like to run away from city life and connect to the nature. This is how I refresh myself sometime. Life is tough, not that neither you or me don’t know, but why some people are so happy and why some are not? Well, although we may not have same life experience, but at least one thing I do know, we have our own problem and business in our life. So, from my opinion, some people are happy because they enjoying life, rather than complaining and nagging about life. When we caught up with stress, it is good to find sometime just to connect with nature, just you… and the tree… and the water, cool breeze from the mountain and fresh air.

Last Saturday, I went to my favourite run-away place, Springbrook. It is my top five place that I would like to visit when I am stress.
1. Room – Sleep
2. kitchen – cook and keeping eating
3. living room – watching DVD or just on couch and do nothing
4. car – nice music
5. Springbrook – connect to nature

Since I am back now, I am ready to take the world.

Embraced myself to the nature just like our Creator embraced us when we needed. When I was there, just the tree and the cool breeze, just like His arm and slowly embraced me and the hauling winds, like telling me, “let it go, because I am here for you…”